Ask a woman what she hates about her body and she'll answer quickly and with a list a mile long. Ask that same woman what she loves about her body and she'll pause and have to think about it. Women have been conditioned since they're born that the most interesting and important thing about them is how they look. Friends and family will tell little girls how pretty they are rather than how smart or strong they are. There are billion dollar industries, including weight loss, beauty and fashion, that feed on our insecurities to sell us their products. And I was no different, I too hated my fat body and tried diets, lotions and potions to try and "fix" it. 

Thankfully things are slowly starting to change. There has been a rise in the Body Love movement, seeking to empower women to love their bodies exactly as they are now. Women like Taryn Brumfitt, Celeste Barber, Sonya Renee Taylor and Lizzo are shining a light on the systems that lead to women hating their bodies. They are showing women that there is a different way to think about your body and that it can be positive. 

What is Body Neutrality?
For many women jumping from loathing their bodies to loving it can be a massive leap. It seems impossible, like trying to jump over the Grand Canyon. But what if there was a mid point? A landing pad to aim for in the middle of canyon that looks far more achievable? This mid point is Body Neutrality. Body Neutrality is when you can look at yourself in the mirror and there is no hate, no love, just "this is my body" and "this is what it looks like". You view your body as an instrument that allows you to live this life, rather than as an art work just to be admired. 

How do I change my perspective?
Moving through the spectrum of your feelings about your body from Body Hate to Body Neutrality is a slow and deliberate action. It takes effort to undo decades of learning that your worth comes from how you look rather than any aspect of your personality. However, it is absolutely possible because I did it. Here are some exercises that helped me on my way to Body Neutrality. 

Try to notice each time you are criticising a part of your body, stop yourself and try to turn it into something positive. Change "I hate my muffin top" to "I have the softest, smoothest skin on my belly" or from "my arms are so flabby" to "I can lift my grocery bags into the car because I have these arms". 

At least once a day, express gratitude for your body. This body is the only body you are going to get in this lifetime and so often we forget to be grateful for it and all that it allows us to do because we have THIS body. It can be for anything, "I'm grateful for my legs because I could go for a walk today " or "I'm grateful for my hands because it means I can type " or "I'm grateful for my bum because I'm comfy when I sit down".

Find an embodiment practice that works for you. For me it was Qoya, a free dance embodiment class. There is no wrong way to do Qoya. You move your body in whatever way you want and it helps you to find the joy in movement for the sake of movement rather than for any other purpose. It helps you to feel into your body and to dance with your feelings rather than thinking about them. You start to gain a new appreciation for your body and all that it can do. If dance is not your thing, try yoga, bush walking or roller skating. It doesn't matter what your chosen activity is, it's about feeling into your body and realising how wonderful it is. 

Once you achieve Body Neutrality, I urge you to keep going on towards Body Love. You're already half way there! 

Liz Reichard runs Sunranges Qoya to help women to realise their inner strength, power and wisdom through the embodied free dance practice of Qoya. To try Qoya for free, sign up to her newsletter at www.sunrangesqoya.com.au.

​For decades, I told myself that I had “black thumbs" instead of “green” ones. That I was no good at gardening and that all the plants I touched died. 
 
And yet…
 
I planted lots of native trees and shrubs when my son was born (almost 24 years ago) and they flourished (left pic above). They provide homes to lots of birds and insects. We have magpies nesting in them every year. The bees and ants love it when the gum trees, wattles and bottle brushes flower. 
 
This year I had my best ever year of growing my own rhubarb (centre pic) and made the most amazing cake with it. And I reckon I might be able to harvest a bit more too!
 
I bought an elephant ear plant from a lady on FB (right pic the one in the white pot) and saw that it had a little baby growing in the pot as well. So I repotted it into the red pot and its growing so very well! And the white one has another couple of babies too!
 
It would appear to anyone else that I am a gardener. That I do have a green thumb. 
 
So why do have this story in my head about my abilities as a gardener? Especially since its not true?
 
My father was incredible with plants. He would break of bits of plants from anywhere and could get it to grow. At that time, I would have been around 8 or 9, I was lousy with plants. But the seed of the story was planted and it continued to grow and repeat itself.
 
Until…
 
I suddenly realised when I harvested all the rhubarb a few weeks ago that it was no longer true. In all honesty, it may never have been true. 
 
I have released that story and I am now proud to say “I AM A GARDENER”!
 
What stories have you been told about yourself and continue to say? 
 
That you aren't creative? 
 
That you can't sing? 
 
That you can't dance? 
 
That you're unco?
 
That you're [insert your story here]?
 
Is it actually true? Was it ever?
 
I invite you to revisit those stories and to really think about them if they are in fact real. 
 
Because I reckon you are far more accomplished and capable that you think. 
 
That you always have been, but you buried it. 
 
Let the story go and fly!

My son graduated from university on in mid December 2023. It was a fancy ceremony in the old Exhibition Building in Carlton. Lots of interesting outfits from the higher ups and gowns and silly hats (my son's words!) on the graduates.
 
As part of the ceremony, Dr Anthea Skinner, musicologist - a fancy way of saying that she's a music researcher, who's research is focussed on adapting instruments for people with disabilities - gave the keynote speech. Dr Skinner spoke about the advice her mother gave her as a young woman with a disability who was unsure of how she would navigate a world that she didn't “fit” into: 
 
“No one who was just like everybody else ever did anything truly amazing. No one who was just like everybody else ever changed the world.”
 
I share Dr Skinner's words (and those  of her mother) as a reminder to you too, that what makes you unique is how you will make your mark. Embrace your 'weirdness', your 'kookiness', all the things that make you you. 
 
Your way of looking at things, your creativity, your opinion matters. I encourage you to celebrate your Youness and all that it entails.
 
Because no one who was just like everybody else ever did anything truly amazing.