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For decades, I told myself that I had “black thumbs" instead of “green” ones. That I was no good at gardening and that all the plants I touched died.
And yet… I planted lots of native trees and shrubs when my son was born (almost 24 years ago) and they flourished (left pic above). They provide homes to lots of birds and insects. We have magpies nesting in them every year. The bees and ants love it when the gum trees, wattles and bottle brushes flower. This year I had my best ever year of growing my own rhubarb (centre pic) and made the most amazing cake with it. And I reckon I might be able to harvest a bit more too! I bought an elephant ear plant from a lady on FB (right pic the one in the white pot) and saw that it had a little baby growing in the pot as well. So I repotted it into the red pot and its growing so very well! And the white one has another couple of babies too! It would appear to anyone else that I am a gardener. That I do have a green thumb. So why do have this story in my head about my abilities as a gardener? Especially since its not true? My father was incredible with plants. He would break of bits of plants from anywhere and could get it to grow. At that time, I would have been around 8 or 9, I was lousy with plants. But the seed of the story was planted and it continued to grow and repeat itself. Until… I suddenly realised when I harvested all the rhubarb a few weeks ago that it was no longer true. In all honesty, it may never have been true. I have released that story and I am now proud to say “I AM A GARDENER”! What stories have you been told about yourself and continue to say? That you aren't creative? That you can't sing? That you can't dance? That you're unco? That you're [insert your story here]? Is it actually true? Was it ever? I invite you to revisit those stories and to really think about them if they are in fact real. Because I reckon you are far more accomplished and capable that you think. That you always have been, but you buried it. Let the story go and fly!
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My son graduated from university on in mid December 2023. It was a fancy ceremony in the old Exhibition Building in Carlton. Lots of interesting outfits from the higher ups and gowns and silly hats (my son's words!) on the graduates.
As part of the ceremony, Dr Anthea Skinner, musicologist - a fancy way of saying that she's a music researcher, who's research is focussed on adapting instruments for people with disabilities - gave the keynote speech. Dr Skinner spoke about the advice her mother gave her as a young woman with a disability who was unsure of how she would navigate a world that she didn't “fit” into: “No one who was just like everybody else ever did anything truly amazing. No one who was just like everybody else ever changed the world.” I share Dr Skinner's words (and those of her mother) as a reminder to you too, that what makes you unique is how you will make your mark. Embrace your 'weirdness', your 'kookiness', all the things that make you you. Your way of looking at things, your creativity, your opinion matters. I encourage you to celebrate your Youness and all that it entails. Because no one who was just like everybody else ever did anything truly amazing. Happy new year! I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas and were able to relax and enjoy it.
If you're still on leave - well bragged! If you're back at work, see what you can do to make it an as pleasurable experience as possible! As is custom at the start of a new year, I've been working on my desires for the year. I've spoken about desires before but in case you've missed it, I'll share it again. Desires are different to goals. Even the most exciting goal can feel somewhat heavy and like a real slog to achieve. Desires on the other hand, make you feel all warm and gooey, they bring you pleasure just thinking about them. For instance, you might set a goal of being able to learn how to do a 50kg deadlift. As a desire, that goal could become “I desire to feel healthy and strong every day.” Or how about the goal of “I want to find a partner”? Turn it into a desire with “I desire to be in a loving, healthy, respectful relationship with hot juicy s*x where my partner worships me and I worship them”. See what I mean? I urge you to write yourself a Desire List for 2024. You could set up a space where you won't be disturbed, have a gorgeous notebook and your fav pen, light a candle, have a snack and a yummy drink and play some thinking music to help get you into a pleasure mindset. Or if you are stretched for time, you can type it into your notes section on your phone while you are waiting for a dr's appt. Make it work for you however it does, but just do it! If you can't do it all in one sitting, that's ok too. Just keep adding to it when something else pops up or when you've got another few mins to dedicate to it. If you have some trouble getting started on your list, try some small desires first to get the ball rolling:
Once you feel that the list is complete - and honestly it may never be because you will always have new desires popping up, especially once you start thinking about them in a more conscious way - put it somewhere where you can see it and remember it. You might like to set a reminder on your phone to look at it each week. You could jump on Canva and make yourself a digital vision board and put it on your phone as a screensaver (I've done this!) so you see it each time you open your phone. You could make a physical vision board or you could paint or draw one. Check in with your desires on a regular basis. Make sure you are putting your energy and time into the things that bring you the most joy. Because life is too short not to. I've started thinking about 2024. What do I want to do in my business, when and how? But I realised that before I look forward with eager bright eyes, I need to reflect on what I achieved in 2023. Because sometimes we forget to do that. To remember all the awesome things we did. Hell, sometimes we forget to celebrate them when we achieve them! Australians have a tendency to look down on those who are doing well - the old “tall poppy syndrome". We gotta knock them down a peg or two. I'm not entirely sure why its part of our culture but I reckon its something we need to get rid of. Celebrating our victories, and those of the people around us, make us happy. Instead of seeing someone else's achievement with jealously or anger or regret, why not see instead as a sign to you that it can be done? Someone else did it, therefore so can you! Try to see it a sign that its also coming for you. So my invitation to you is to brag about 2023! What have you done? What are you proud of? And here are some of mine:
I would LOVE to hear your brags!! Comment below and let me know. Because as good as bragging is, do you know what makes it even better? When it is witnessed by another person and celebrated!!! I wanna be that person for you! Go on, let me know now! Welcome to my first ever Christmas Gift Guide! I wanted to showcase the incredible women and non-binary people in business that I have had the pleasure of knowing and working with. These folks are forging their own paths, running amazing small businesses and providing gorgeous products and services. By supporting these businesses you are helping them provide for themselves and their families. You are helping them to become financially independent and have the freedom to do what it is that they are being called to do. And that's pretty amazing in my book!
You can click on each of the images below and it will take you to the business' website. I am a show pony - look no further than the pics below for proof! I show up as myself, wearing what make me feel good and try to have as much fun as I can. But I've had people tell me I need to turn it down, to not be so “out there”. For a long time, I tried to fit into this expectation, this mould of what I should be. Do you know what? Its completely EXHAUSTING. You always have to think quickly about what you're going to say if it fits that ideal, decide if that outfit is too loud and colourful, if you should go down the water slide with your kid. NO MORE! I'm going to wear colour in the sea of black that is Melbourne. I'm going to be loud, laugh even louder and bring joy to everything I do. I'll wear the bikini, shorts, tank top because I want to. I'm doing me and if you don't like it, the door is over there! I got to this place slowly, gradually peeling back the layers of expectation. Of my father. Of my employer. Of my friends. Of society in general. Qoya helped me to work out who I was and what the hell it was that I wanted. I connected to my body, got out of my endless chattering monkey brain and slowed down. I felt all the feelings in my body and moved with them. Honoured them for keeping me safe and slowly releasing them. Finding Regena Thomashauer and the School of Womanly Arts super charged my coming into myself. I connected with my most sacred feminine centre, my pussy and found even more ways of exploring pleasure in every day and every moment. I turned my glowing inner light up to 11. I am here and I am here to have fun! I am here to help you find your inner light, your radiance and turn it ON and UP! It's going to be a bumpy ride but I promise you will have fun along the way! Check out my Coaching page for ways to work with me to turn your light up! Did you sign up to my newsletter at a market or festival?
Did we have a chat about the magic of Qoya and you felt that you wanted to know more? Just in case you don't remember or came to my list a different way, here's my festival/market run down: "Qoya is a free dance embodiment class for women. Its designed to get you out of your head and into your body. To dance with your emotions rather than having them spinning around in your head on a loop. Its a safe space where women gather together to support each other with no judgement or shame. "There's no way to do Qoya wrong and the way you know you are doing it right is that it feels good to you. You get to move your body for no other reason than its fun and pleasurable to move it. "I run weekly classes in Thornbury, Gisborne and Sunbury and then monthly on Zoom. “It's 90 minutes of YOU TIME and when you sign up to my newsletter (as you have) you'll get a code to book into your first class for free, so you can try it and see if its for you!” So if you haven't been to a class yet, I'd love to know why not. Please hit reply to let me know as it will help me to see if there's anything I can do to make it easier for you to come! And if you'd just like to book in now but can't find the code, comment below or send me and email and I'll send it to you again. The code doesn't expire and you can use it for any of my Qoya classes. Come dance with me! We are bombarded every day with the hundreds of ways that we are ‘wrong’. Billion dollar industries exist to make sure we don't forget it and buy their crap to ‘fix it’.
Too loud Too quiet Too big Too small Too old Too young Too hairy Too emotional Too hurt Too immature Too serious Too aggressive Too feminist Too fucking everything But what if there's actually nothing wrong with you at all? Seriously? Like nothing. That how you show up in the world is exactly right. It can be really hard to feel right in a world that likes to point out your ‘flaws’. I'm here to tell you that you ARE right. And I'm also here to encourage you to find yourself right. To start to approve of yourself and all that you do. Sure you'll fuck up, but then we all do. Stuff happens that we might have been able to avoid and that we might have wished we could. But if you had avoided it, what else might you have missed out on? If I hadn't had my breakdown, I doubt I would be here writing this email to you right now. I'd still be a lawyer wondering why I was miserable doing my ‘dream job’. To approve of all that you have done and what you want to do next takes some effort. A simple exercise that you can start with is to write down all the phrases that come into your mind when you disapprove of yourself. Then go back over your list and change it to an approving phrase instead. For instance, I used to be very critical of myself when I did simple mistakes in a crossword. So I changed the “you're an idiot” phrase to “its just a mistake”. Taking the time to do this exercise will dramatically improve your self talk and your own thoughts and feelings about you. Because you aren't wrong and you never have been. I'd love to hear how you go with it, comment below to let me know. Last night I was again reminded of the power of women supporting each other.
I held a class in Thornbury and one of the women shared her story of struggle, collapse and how she was trying to give herself the time and space to work out what was next. She spoke of the expectations she placed on herself that she “should” know what she was going to do next. That when she was resting and recuperating from such a life changing event that she felt as though she was wasting time and “should” be doing something productive. Can you relate? I certainly can. As some of you know, I used to work as a lawyer. I had a mental breakdown that took me years to recover from. It was during that recovery period that I found Qoya. Qoya helped me to relax into my body. It showed me how to move with my emotions instead of having them do endless cycles in my head. It reminded me that I have incredible inner strength and power and how to access it again. And it showed me how powerful it is when women gather together. Supporting each other without judgement or shame. Just holding the space and allowing to come out what needs to. It has been one of my greatest achievements with this business creating safe spaces for women. Of course, I don't do it alone. Each of the women who attend my classes plays her integral part of space holding and demonstrating vulnerability. Women supporting women is, and has always been, extremely powerful. Because when your light shines, it does not diminish mine. You are lighting the way for me and all the other women to follow you. To show us what can be done. So shine on Sister! Be a good girl.
Don't cry. What's wrong with you? Why are you always angry? Aren't you over that yet? As women, we get all sorts of messages from when we are tiny little girls about how we are meant to behave. Or what not to do. To be a good girl. To not show our true feelings because it'll upset someone else. But what happens to us when we suppress those feelings? When we don't have a healthy way of dealing with them? When all we do is push them down further every time they dare to bubble up? We get women who are disconnected from themselves. Who don't know what they are feeling. Who don't know what they want because they've never been asked or even thought to ask themselves. Who keep thinking and thinking and thinking but never really deal with the underlying causes. Women are allowed to feel and be the entire range of the 88 keys of a piano. They DO NOT need to stay within the 5 or so “acceptable” keys. You are allowed, hell, you NEED to, feel the entire range of your emotions. The rage, the fear, the grief, the sadness, the p*ssed offness, the joy, the happiness, the turn on, your radiance. But how do we do that? As part of my coaching training, I have been learning about ways to help you feel into those emotions in a safe controlled way. It's called Swamping. Here is a Spotify playlist for you to use to move through the Swamping practice. Swamping is a practice where you first tap into all the shitty heavy feelings you have going on - you might like to start by focusing in on a particular event, for instance an interaction you had with a work colleague or at Centrelink or with your partner or your kids. Get into that Rage and then press play on your playlist and start moving with it. Punch a pillow, jump up and down, throw a tantrum like a 2 yo, scream. Do what ever it is that you need to to move that angry energy through your body. Then you move into Grief. Quite often our rage is disguised as grief. Feel that sadness in your body and move with it in the way your body needs to move with it. Cry if you want to. Wail if you can. Finally, you move into Turn On. Into bringing yourself back to yourself. Back to your inner light, your inner radiance. Gently caress your body, your face. Move your hips. Find the most pleasurable way to move your body right now. You are a Goddess in her most radiant power. Feel that. BE THAT. Have a go at Swamping and let me know how you go. If you have any questions about Swamping, please feel free to ask away. |
AuthorLiz Reichard is a Radiance Coach and Qoya teacher. Her mission is to help as many women as possible remember the power of their own bodies through Radiance Coaching & Qoya classes. Archives
January 2025
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